The Rewards and Emotional Impact of Foster Parenting

The United States is facing a significant shortage of foster homes. The child welfare system has an urgent need for foster families, especially for foster parents who will care for sibling groups and teens.

Now is the best time to join the foster family community. If you're considering becoming a foster parent, you'll enjoy the rewarding benefits that come from helping children and families. As with all parenting, you will also want to prepare for the emotional highs and lows foster parents experience.

Being an excellent foster parent means being ready for the joy – and challenges – of helping children in need.

The Many Rewards of Foster Parenting: Why People Choose This Path

All the nearly 400,000 children in the U.S. foster care system need safe, stable, and nurturing homes. No matter how short the period of time you provide foster care, you can make a lasting impact on a child's life.

Some faith-based parents foster or adopt as a calling to demonstrate God's love. Others want to provide emotional and financial support to children. Many seek to expand their families with the ultimate goal of adopting a child or sibling group.

Being a foster parent can bring immense happiness and fulfillment to your life. Nothing compares to watching children grow and develop with a loving family like they've never known.

The Emotional Impact of Foster Parenting: What to Expect

Foster families face unique emotional challenges. Many foster children have gone through traumatic experiences before entering the foster care system. Social workers counsel that foster kids remain vulnerable to abuse after they enter care. Even experienced parents may discover that they need to adapt and learn new parenting approaches.

Process of Becoming a Foster Parent

Becoming a foster parent takes an average of 90-120 days. To become foster parents, adults must pass a background check, complete pre-service foster parent training, and a Home Study. They must also meet state requirements and pass a home safety inspection.

Foster Child Placement

You await your first foster child placement after completing the foster parent approval process.

A degree of uncertainty always exists when fostering. Preparing and planning for your first and subsequent child placements can be nerve-racking. Parents have endless questions, wondering what their foster child will be like and how long they will stay.

Day-to-Day Foster Parenting

Many foster parents quickly learn to live in the present while they plan for the future. You might not be able to plan far ahead because your child's living situation is uncertain or changing.

Reunification, or rejoining with their biological parents, is usually the case plan goal for foster children. However, it is difficult to predict how long it will take for birth parents to meet the court's requirements. Foster families sometimes feel frustrated by the process or uncertainty, especially as they experience it through their foster child. Change sometimes happens painfully slowly, and other times happens quickly with short notice.

Throughout your fostering journey, you will have court dates, legal challenges, visitations, and lifestyle boundaries to manage. Foster parents experience a range of emotions.

Support Resources

While foster parenting can be an emotional path, you are never alone. You'll meet other foster parents during orientation and training classes and get to know your agency representatives. You'll have the opportunity to take foster parent classes and join foster family support groups. As you build your support network, you'll find go-to resources for advice and Respite Foster care.

Tips for Staying Grounded: Coping Strategies and Emotional Self-Care

Practicing self-care is central to managing parenting stress. Added stress can shorten patience and negatively affect kids, especially when they're managing their own stressors. By contrast, when parents make time to practice self-care, kids benefit from the outcome and learn coping strategies for themselves.

Parents can impact their children with their stress, causing them to feel like a target. Foster kids don't always have good communication tools and may react by starting arguments or other aggressive behaviors.

Pay attention to your physical and emotional state. Note if specific thoughts or interactions make you or your family members feel tired, tense, or anxious. When you need help, talk to agency support services, online support groups, or mental health professionals. Remember, your partner, family, or foster parent support group can often give just the care you need.

Practice gratitude by focusing on joy in your life. Reduced anxiety, better sleep, and a happier mood are among the many health benefits of this mindset.

Expect that foster parenting will sometimes leave you feeling frustrated. Use your lifelines and count on your foster parent support network. No doubt, foster parenting has a special kind of emotional impact.

How to Manage Grief and Loss in Foster Care

A tough part of being a foster parent is saying goodbye when a foster child leaves your home. Foster parents are often surprised by how quickly they form bonds with their foster children. This beautiful connection makes it hard to say goodbye.

Dealing with grief and loss is a normal part of the fostering process. Learning strategies to cope with these feelings is important. Talking to other foster families or a counselor can help. Some prefer to get it all out in strenuous exercise or a good venting.

As hard as it is to let your foster child go, find comfort in the knowledge you have changed their life and set them up for a brighter future.

5 Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) to Navigate Complex Emotions

Are you concerned about how to manage a potential rollercoaster of emotions in foster parenting? Take these learnings from foster parents who have navigated the highs and lows of caring for children in foster care.

Q: What is the Best Way to Emotionally Prepare for Fostering?

A: Educate yourself about what to expect and keep in mind that emotions are part of the foster parenting process. Caring for and raising children is an emotionally charged way of life. You'll experience immense joy and likely also the grief of loss. You are never alone in facing the unique challenges of being a foster parent.

Q: What Types of Emotional Support Exist for Foster Parents?

A: Your foster parent support network and grief counselors can guide you through challenging times. Stay connected with other foster parents and talk to your own family members to work through problems. Every state offers a variety of foster parent support resources, as well.

Q: How Can I Support My Foster Child Through Emotional Times?

A: The best thing you can do is give foster kids patience, love, and a welcoming environment. Without pressure, be available to talk if and when they're ready. Your foster child has experienced many difficult things in their young life. Show empathy and support them without condition.

Q: What Common Emotional Challenges Do Foster Children Experience?

A: Most foster kids grapple with trauma and feelings of loss and grief. They often feel out of control and anxious about their futures. Foster kids often suffer from low self-worth and feelings of abandonment. These feelings are hard to process, and foster youth may respond by closing themselves off or behaving with anger.

Q: Can I Expect to Have a Long-term Relationship with My Foster Child?

A: Foster parents can be positive role models that foster kids don't otherwise have. Your impact on a foster child's life will be life-long. This is true even if your time with them is brief.

Showing love and kindness can build lasting relationships. These supports are vital for older kids and teens who age out of foster care. Without support, they have a high risk of homelessness or substance abuse.

Understanding the Emotional and Behavioral Impacts of Foster Parenting

Foster parenting is a challenging but rewarding journey. The experience will change how you approach the world, knowing you have improved the life of a child in foster care. In difficult times, follow these coping strategies to overcome the inevitable emotional swings of foster parenting.

For additional information about building your foster support network, see available resources in your state. Contact a nearby foster or adoption agency to learn more about becoming a foster or adoptive family. A parent advocate will guide you every step of your parenting journey.