5 Questions to Learn if Foster Parenting is Right for You
Foster parenting...it is an admirable path of service, but is it right for you? Maybe your partner mentioned the idea of foster parenting, or perhaps you've been considering it yourself. Welcoming a foster child into your home can change many lives. As with all life decisions, it's a good idea to slow down and ask yourself a few key questions first.
No bigger or more important job exists than being a parent. Parents provide love and care, financial support, and manage decisions small and large. Before becoming a foster parent, it's important to understand and prepare for the responsibilities that come with it.
Here are the top five questions to ask yourself before starting the foster parent approval and licensing process.
1. Can I Raise a Foster Child as I Would My Own?
Before you take steps to become a foster parent, consider whether you can see a foster child's life as your own.
Children of all ages enter the foster care system. Every child's situation is unique. However, there are common reasons why many kids end up in foster care. These include abuse, the death of a parent, or their parent's mental health or drug issues.
Many children in the system experience trauma and respond to their feelings by withdrawing or lashing out. Foster children need dependable adults who are patient and supportive. Some children need a different approach to parenting than others.
One in seven kids in the United States has experienced some form of abuse or neglect from a birth parent. The actual number is likely higher since abuse often goes unreported. Abused or neglected kids may have various issues, like physical injuries, malnutrition, anxiety, and even PTSD.
Some children may react to their feelings and fears with anger behaviors like having tantrums or becoming argumentative. Some children's fears are more easily helped. Others are a bigger challenge and may require support through therapy.
Parents are their children's greatest supporters and advocates. Foster parents must stand by their child's side no matter the hardship they face.
2. Can I Provide Financial Support to a Foster Child?
Foster parents need a steady income to support themselves and a foster child. Common expenses when raising a child include:
- Food at home and away from home
- Clothing for growing kids
- School activities and fundraisers
- Transportation and gas
- School supplies
- Healthcare costs
- Allowance
- Family fun and recreation
These are just a few categories of expenses that come with raising a child. Other expenses include sports, school field trips, and friends' birthday party gifts.
Many states offer financial support to foster parents as a means to offset some of the expenses. These tax-deferred payments may include a stipend or monthly maintenance payment to help cover food, clothing, and housing costs. The child welfare system helps foster families by providing Medicare health care coverage to make fostering more affordable.
Be realistic with yourself about the expenses of fostering a child. Talk to your spouse or other family members to ensure all feel comfortable that you can afford to raise foster children. Take time to research further what fostering a child in your state may cost. Individual state resources may help you financially support a foster child.
A local child-placing agency can help detail costs and budget for both essentials and unforeseen emergencies. They can assist in finding online groups or community-based programs that help families with resources and support. The foster community tends to have a strong support network and social support system.
3. Do I Have a Good Support System?
Friends, family, and foster community members make up a strong foster care support system. This network of support will lessen your load as a foster parent and caregiver. Within your network, you'll want a support group of people to call with questions or in case of emergency. You'll also want someone to lean on more emotional support or a helping hand.
Your support system may include anyone who values supporting and protecting children. Friends, family, neighbors, doctors, therapists, teachers, and church members could make up your network. Your foster child may benefit from knowing other foster families and youth in foster care, too.
The stronger your support system, the easier time you'll have as a foster parent.
4. Will Fostering be Good for My Family?
If you have family members, consider how fostering will impact your family life. This applies to both current parents and those who will be parenting for the first time in their foster home. Adding a child to your family will change your family dynamic and your life. Getting agreement from your spouse, partner, and kids before deciding to become a foster parent is important.
Fostering is an adjustment for every member of the family. Many foster families agree it is rewarding and has other benefits. However, with change comes uncertainty. Providing for children in foster care will pull your attention in new and different directions.
Take time to listen as each family member expresses their thoughts and opinions. If any feel hesitant or oppose the idea, it may not be the right time to start fostering. Remember, foster kids need dependable support, especially if they are victims of child abuse or neglect. If everyone in your family is ready, the foster child you bring home is more likely to feel loved and accepted.
5. Is Now the Right Time to Foster?
Foster parents often report they felt a calling to care for children in need. Many people who want to help foster children question whether they have the time, or simply whether it's the right time in their lives. Deciding to become a foster parent is a major decision. It will change your life, as will other transformative moves, like a new job, town, or marriage.
First, consider whether you have the time to dedicate to a new family member. The age of a foster child will determine the quality of time that parenting demands. For example, caring for a baby is more physically demanding, and caring for teens takes more emotional support.
Ask yourself how much time your work and family require today, and how much of that time is flexible. What about time commitments for social activities and hobbies?
If you feel the desire to help foster children in need, becoming a foster parent is only one path you can follow.
How to Help Foster Children Besides Foster Parenting
If you decide the time is not right to foster a child, but you still want to support a child in foster care, there are many ways to help.
Consider mentoring foster youth aging out of foster care. Many of these teens and young adults need people who will help them learn valuable life skills. Volunteering your time to kids staying in foster care at group homes is another much-needed way to help. Your child welfare agency can help you find local programs and groups that support foster children and families.
Donating to support foster kids is always an outlet for those with financial ability. Foster care organizations collect items like school supplies, backpacks, food, hygiene products, and clothes to support foster kids. A Department of Health and Human Services can put you in touch. The Children's Bureau offers services like Child Welfare Information Gateway and AdoptUSKids to help foster families access resources.
Foster Parenting...Is It Right for You?
Before becoming a foster parent, it's important to assess your lifestyle, family priorities, and finances.
So, the question remains: is foster parenting right for you? Do an honest self-assessment and ask yourself these five questions. If you're still not sure, contact a foster parent advocate in your state.
At FosterUSKids, we want to teach potential foster parents how they can help foster children. As a foster parent or friend to the foster community, foster kids need your support. Contact us today to learn more.
