How to Prepare for Your First Foster Child Placement
Preparing for Your First Placement: Tips for Foster Parents
You're on the cusp of an exciting milestone: your first foster placement! You have now met all requirements to foster children in your state. As a new foster parent, your mind may be spinning with questions about how best to prepare for your first foster's arrival.
Here are some tips for new foster parents on getting ready to welcome their first foster child into your family.
Build Your Support Network
As you embark on your journey into foster care, you'll want to gather people you can turn to for support. You'll likely have moments when you need information, guidance, and answers to parenting questions. Before your foster child arrives, line up a strong support network.
To strengthen support, make a list of people in your life who would be happy to help you work through a tough situation. Include family members, friends, church members, neighbors, social workers, and co-workers. One of your main supports will also be those walking a similar fostering journey...other foster parents.
You can likely find a nearby foster parent group wherever you live in the United States. You may have met others during foster parent orientation or training. If not, your foster caseworker or a social services agency in your state can introduce you to options. Experienced foster and adoptive parents navigated many challenges, including caring for victims of child abuse and neglect.
Remember to ask for help when you need it! It can significantly lighten your load and ease your mind in the short and long term. Research shows that children are more likely to suffer mental health issues when their parents are struggling. The CDC website shows that 1 in 14 children has a parent or caregiver with poor mental health.
Prioritize your mental health. Take time for yourself and be open to accepting help when others offer it. When you're at your best, your foster kids have the opportunity to be at their best, too. Keeping your own healthy state of mind will help your kids find their way through a chaotic time in their lives.
If you are not yet familiar with respite care, discuss options with your foster community. Do you need more help setting up your foster support network? The Child Welfare Information Gateway has a podcast series, including episode 84, about setting up an effective foster network.
Preparing Your Children to be Part of a Foster Family
Welcoming foster care children into your home is a transition for all family members. If you have a partner or kids of your own, you must help prepare them for what to expect.
During the placement process, foster case managers work hard to match foster children and families. This new relationship is an adjustment for every family and youth in foster care.
Adjustment to a foster home may come easily in comparison to a prior group home. A child in foster care may require additional time to get used to a new home. This is particularly true if they have been in the child welfare system for an extended period.
As you support children in foster care, listen closely to their questions. It can be helpful to explain the child welfare process and give them age-appropriate books about fostering.
Foster kids are getting accustomed to you and transitioning from their last living environment. They're adjusting from being away from their biological parents or a prior foster home or group living situation. Foster kids often feel their worlds spinning out of control. The more you communicate about what's going on, the more likely your foster child will feel comfortable.
Foster families with kids must give the same care and attention to their own kids. For young children, having a temporary foster sibling may mean they will need to learn about sharing. Tell them about their new role as a foster family and involve them in the process to ensure they feel connected.
If you have older children, share your foster parent training and go deeper where they have questions. Just as you talked to them during the foster approval part of the process, give them time to process thoughts and questions.
What to Buy as You Prepare for Fostering
Welcoming a new child into your life is exciting. It can be easy to do "too much" when planning to care for children, no matter how short or long a time.
Start by setting up essentials supplies. Plan to fill in the details after your foster child is there to help make decisions. Once you learn their interests and preferences for color, you can help tailor personal space for them. It can ease the transition to surround foster kids with the things they love: soccer, horses, or anything purple and glittery.
Basic essential items include:
- A separate bed per child
- Dresser space or personal storage
- Shelves or a designated place for belongings
- A comfortable chair, perhaps with a throw blanket
- Age-appropriate books and toys
- Personal hygiene toiletries, like toothbrush, toothpaste, hairbrush, deodorant, sanitary products
- A night light or lamp
When decorating, begin with neutral colors and then invite your foster child to choose colors, patterns, and themes once they have settled. Depending on their age, make the space cozy and approachable with plenty of light and perhaps soft stuffed animals.
7 Tips to Prepare for Your First Child Placement
We've assembled quick and practical advice for new parents about fostering children. These tips will help you prepare for your first day as a foster parent!
- If you already have kids at home, be ready to have conversations and answer tough questions. Your children may need help processing how they fit into the changing family dynamic. They may also feel fearful about what the arrival of a new foster sibling means for them.
- Involve your kids by getting their opinions and including them in decisions. When you show them empathy, they are more likely to show empathy in their role as siblings and supporters, too.
- Go through your prep list one more time and ensure you have checked off everything. Are there any last-minute tasks before your foster child arrives? Consider child-proofing, bedroom purchases, and how you want to show your foster child around the home.
- Be ready to flex. As a parent, there are always last-minute changes and individual child needs that call for a flexible schedule. Make time for school events and plan fun activities and outings with your foster child and family.
- Continue learning after you have fulfilled your foster parent training. Maintain your practice of parenting education by picking up books about foster parenting, trauma, and the foster care system. Find podcasts or YouTube videos on common foster parenting challenges. Look for steps to navigate foster challenges if you find a specific childcare issue.
- If you're fostering older children or teens, ask your foster caseworker how best to support adolescents in foster care. Many online blogs and learning resources focus on fostering teens.
- Nurture your foster support network. Make a point to text, telephone, or meet in person for moral support from other foster parents. Reach out when life seems chaotic. Occasionally, you need to take a deep breath and reassure yourself: "I've got this!"
Foster parenting is a journey. Keep working to learn, and you will grow more comfortable with time.
Preparing for Your First Foster Placement
Preparation is key to making your first foster placement go smoothly. You've already accomplished a lot by becoming a foster parent. Finally, the time has come to turn your home into a welcoming space for a foster child in need. Use these tips to guide you as you take this admirable next step.
You're ready to make a significant difference in a child's life with thoughtfulness, patience, and an open heart. Welcome to the rewarding world of foster parenting! May your journey be as enriching for you as it is for the child you are about to embrace into your family.
If you are interested in advice on fostering or would like to see more on other topics, please tell us more at FosterUSKids.
