What are Foster Parents Not Allowed to Do?

A nationwide shortage of foster homes means finding kids a bed and a family within their community is more challenging than ever. These children need more people to step up and become foster parents.

If you're considering being a foster parent, you can help these kids. However, you must understand your responsibilities, including knowing what you can and can't do if you want to be a reliable caregiver.

So, what are foster parents not allowed to do? This guide answers that question and provides tips to make the experience easier. Keep reading, and we'll help you to become the best caregiver possible.

What Are Foster Parents Not Allowed to Do?

If you're new to foster care, you might be surprised by all the rules and limitations imposed on parents. Remember that you're not the child's legal guardian but a temporary caregiver. The goal in most foster cases is to reunite these kids with their families.

As such, you're not legally allowed to make certain decisions. Each state has different rules and regulations, so research them before placement. However, we've also compiled some of the most common (and often surprising) things that foster parents can't do.

Use these tips as a reference on what to avoid.

Don't Post Their Pictures on Social Media

These days, parents often share pictures of their kids on Facebook or other social media apps and websites. It's easy for proud parents to show off cute moments with friends and family.

However, uploading pictures online can put children at risk. Posting photos means you no longer have control of them. The website or social media platform technically owns them.

Others may take your images and use them to promote products or services. Posting pictures of your child also increases their risk of being kidnapped.

Some people even steal photos of children and give them new names and identities, a practice called "digital kidnapping."

Foster parents aren't allowed to upload pictures of foster children online. Doing so could negatively impact the child's privacy or safety. You cannot upload photos of a foster child's face, even on private social media accounts.

If you must post pictures, blur their faces or cover them with emojis.

Never Leave Them at an Unapproved Daycare

Many parents rely on daycare, primarily if they work outside the home. However, it's different for foster parents.

You can't leave a foster child at a daycare unless it has been approved by the state's Child and Family Services.

You can hire a babysitter, though there are some guidelines to follow. Babysitting is short-term care, so your babysitter can only watch over a foster child for less than 24 hours. Additionally, it should only occur on an occasional basis.

Use your best judgment when selecting a babysitter. Only work with responsible adults who can meet your child's needs. Foster kids may have more behavioral or medical conditions, so you need someone reliable and flexible.

It would be best if you personally vetted potential babysitters. Ask them about their experience and if they'd be comfortable attending to a foster child.

If you need to leave the state or require more time to address an emergency, you should find respite, foster caregivers. These are trained adults that you can request through your agency. Depending on the situation, they can care for a foster child for a few hours, on weekends, or longer.

You Can't Change Their Appearance

Making significant changes to a foster child's appearance isn't allowed without approval from a caseworker or the birth parents. You can't get their ears pierced or even cut their hair without permission.

For instance, taking them for a summer haircut without contacting your caseworker or their parents first can get you in trouble.

Changes to a child's appearance carry the risk of impacting their identity.

Don't Leave Them Home Alone

Foster children under 12 can't be left home alone without adult supervision.

Kids 12 years or older can be left without supervision for brief periods. However, they must have been in your home for at least two weeks (14 days.)

If you must leave an older child home alone, you have to provide them with access to emergency contact numbers, a list of procedures, and your contact information.

It's also a good idea to do a trial run and teach them how to handle the unexpected. Warn them about what to do if a stranger comes to the door or if the smoke alarm goes off.

You must also ensure you child-proof the home following local laws and regulations. For example, firearms and ammunition must be locked in separate locations out of reach.

Use your best judgment. Even if the child you're caring for is over 12, you may not want to leave them home alone if they're uncomfortable or if you're worried about crime in the area.

You Can't Refuse to Vaccinate Them

Most state agencies require that parents vaccinate their foster children. It doesn't matter if the foster or birth parents consider themselves anti-vaccination.

Even if the birth parents don't want their kids vaccinated, a judge usually rules that the child should receive vaccinations.

This is because vaccines can stop diseases that have the power to harm or kill babies, children, and adults severely. For instance, they can eliminate the risk of measles or whooping cough.

Never Physically Discipline Then

There are strict rules in place to prevent foster parents from physically disciplining their children. Parents can't spank, slap, or hit a child in their care.

Foster kids experience a lot of trauma, and physical discipline can significantly impact their mental health. Physical aggression, like spanking, elevates their aggression levels and can lead to behavioral, emotional, and academic problems.

It's also highly ineffective since it doesn't teach children about responsibility or self-control.

Instead, you're taught effective techniques such as praising them for good behavior.

To help teach foster kids about responsibility, set reasonable rules and ensure the child understands them. You should also make sure that everyone in the house follows these rules.

If you're struggling with children demonstrating behavioral problems, you should contact the social worker and help find the child a trained therapist.

You're also not allowed to withhold food or water from kids for any reason. You can't send them to bed without dinner for bad behavior. Doing so can get you into trouble with your agency.

You Can't Travel to Another State or Country

There are various travel restrictions placed on foster parents. The policies may vary depending on your state and your chosen foster agency.

Sometimes, you may be unable to travel outside the state or country without special permission. Many states are trying to normalize travel, so vacations with family are more straightforward from a paperwork perspective.

If you need to travel for a prolonged time, such as taking a vacation that lasts more than 48 hours, you'll need permission from the social worker, caseworker, the court, or the birth parents. You'll likely have to provide detailed information about where you're staying, how long the trip will be, what you'll be doing, how to contact you, etc.

You may need further permission if you're participating in any activities that might threaten the child's safety, such as skiing or rock climbing. Be careful with any activities that could reasonably be considered dangerous.

It's best to always consult with the caseworker if you're unsure.

If a foster child can't travel with you, you'll need to arrange respite care.

You Can't Let Them Attend Sleepovers (Sometimes)

Again, each state has rules about what foster children can or cannot do. It may be different in your area. However, some states have restrictions on overnight activities like sleepovers.

While these restrictions may seem challenging, they're in place for a child's protection.

Circumstances may vary depending on the child's past as well. Depending on the trauma they've experienced, sleeping over at home with unfamiliar adults may trigger painful memories. So, even if your state allows overnight stays at another home, it may not be in the child's best interest.

If you're unsure whether it's okay to let your child spend a night at their friend's house, seek permission from the caseworker.

You Can't Give Them Hugs (Sometimes)

This rule can vary depending on the agency you choose and a child's history. Kids who were victims of physical abuse may not feel comfortable with hugs or hand-holding.

You must respect their boundaries and do whatever it takes to make foster children comfortable. If that means they don't want to be touched, even if it's just a pat on the head or a hug, you must listen.

Your foster agency may have specific rules about what types of physical affection are allowed. Ensure you discuss these boundaries with babysitters or respite caregivers as well.

Never Invade Their Privacy

It's easy for parents to become overprotective of their children, but they often cross lines that invade the child's privacy. For instance, a parent may choose to monitor their child's text messages.

This invasion of privacy can have many negative consequences. It takes away control and limits their integrated sense of self. Over-restrictive parenting and invasive practices can also backfire and cause children to hide information from you or start lying.

Foster parents are not allowed to do anything that would interfere with that child's privacy and confidentiality. Foster kids have a right to make and receive phone calls in private. You also don't have the authority to take away their phone privileges.

Rather than taking extreme measures to monitor them, take time to set boundaries. Explain your reasons for restrictions and be as transparent as possible.

Never Ignore Their Religious Beliefs

Many foster children come from homes that may practice different religions. You can't force a foster child to do anything that would violate their religious beliefs.

Additionally, you can't force them to participate in any religious activities. For instance, if they're uncomfortable going to church with you on Sundays, you may need a babysitter to care for them.

Parents should respect a child's cultural and religious background.

What Disqualifies You From Being a Foster Parent?

If you want to know how to become a foster parent, the first step is to research your state's foster parent requirements. For example, you must be a certain age, pass state and federal background checks, complete training, and finish the home study process.

Most people can become foster parents without any issues. However, some factors may disqualify you.

Applicants that suffer from a severe mental or physical health condition may not be able to provide the level of care necessary. That's why getting a physical exam from a doctor is part of the screening process.

Your home environment may not be safe for children. In some cases, you can address these problems. However, issues that make a house uninhabitable and can't be reasonably fixed can disqualify you.

Any applicants with a history of substantiated child abuse or neglect will be screened out. All household members (over 14) must pass a criminal background check and be checked for any history of abuse.

Depending on the circumstances, the agency may ask for more information to understand your situation. A criminal conviction does not necessarily bar you from fostering unless it's a barrier crime or is of a nature that would put children at risk.

Learn More About Being a Foster Parent

So, what are foster parents not allowed to do? This list outlines some of the most common complications that come up. It will help you along your journey.

We understand that it can feel like there's so much to learn as an aspiring foster family. However, we hope this guide helped you to discover what you can or can't do.

Again, the exact rules and regulations vary by state. You'll receive more information once you begin your initial inquiry. We need some information to connect you with a local agency, and you can become a foster parent today.